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By Dorianne Sager |
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,
"Dear to us are those who love us. . . but dearer are those who reject us as
unworthy, for they add another life; they build a heaven before us whereof we
had not dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the
spirit."
Blah, blah, blah.
No matter how pretty you make it sound no one likes to be rejected.
Unfortunately, dating and rejection are like love and marriage, you can't have
one without the other. Of course, not every date will end in rejection. There
is always the possibility that "the one" is the one you will be meeting
tonight. But until then, here are some tips on how to deal with rejection while
online dating.
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Remember, not everyone checks email regularly. If you haven't had a response to
an email, it could be because the person has not yet read it. Or maybe they did
read it and still haven't responded. Before you beat yourself up and sink into
a depressed funk cured only by pints of Ben & Jerry's, consider the following.
(And the number of pints of ice cream consumed should be directly proportional
to the amount of time you have invested in a potential relationship).
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They are already involved, or on vacation, or have been kidnapped.
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Their computer is broken, or they had to sell it in order to pay the rent.
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They smoke and you don't so they didn't bother responding, or vice versa.
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They posted their profile two years ago on a dare and never got around to
taking it down.
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You want a long-term relationship with marriage and kids. They want a date for
the movies this weekend.
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They were not attracted to your photo, which does not mean you are not
attractive, more likely it means they are shallow and you are better off
without them, or they feel too intimidated by your appearance to make contact.
(It's probably that one).
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The beauty of online dating however means that while you may be rejected one
day, you can reject the next. And really, the only thing to remember in this
case is to think how you would like to be rejected by someone.
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Be polite. No "Get lost you loser" replies. Instead break it gently with "I
don't think we're a suitable match and I really wouldn't want to waste any more
of your time."
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If this doesn't work, see below. And if that doesn't work, a firm, "Please stop
bothering me or I will have to report your behaviour" should do it.
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Blame yourself; "It's not you, it's me" may be a lie but it's still preferable
to, "Your chin is too big and your profile makes you sound as bright as a
broken light bulb."
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When in doubt how to reply, delete. When they don't receive a reply, they will
refer to the above pointers on how to deal with rejection.
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