Magazine > Great expectations
By Jacqueline Brasfield
Your fingers dance over the keys as you sign in, your heart beating a steady rhythm to match the music of your typing. You really like this person, there's a definite spark between the two of you, and you trust them. Will today be the day you get the nerve to suggest that you meet offline?
For online daters, the decision to meet someone in person is often met with nervousness and doubt. Funny isn't it? We go online to meet people and find ourselves getting cold feet when the time actually comes.
This hesitation can stem from worrying that the other person won't match your expectations when you meet them. Then there's the worry that you won't match up to the other person's expectations of you. Even when you've been honest in your profile and have made every effort to let the "real you" shine through in messages and chats, it's only natural to worry that you'll seem different in person.
Such fear can limit a relationship to an "online-only" status longer than is ideal. It's important to fight the temptation to stay in this comfort zone if you are truly interested in starting a relationship with someone you've met online.
When we get to know someone online, we put together the different bits of information we receive and combine them to form an idea of what that person is really like. Profiles, photos and messages give us a good glimpse of who we're getting to know, but it's never 100% complete. We tend to fill the gaps with slightly idealised information which can create unrealistic expectations.
To minimise potential disappointment, get offline and meet face to face sooner rather then later. You'll get to know each other on a deeper level while seeing if the chemistry you felt online is as strong in person. While it may take several meetings with different people before you make the connection you're looking for, the effort will seem worthwhile when you do meet that special someone.
And if things don't work out as expected, try not to feel too bad. The person who made your heart pound with excitement online may not have the same effect on you in person, but they might end up becoming a good friend.
Good luck!
By Jacqueline Brasfield
For online daters, the decision to meet someone in person is often met with nervousness and doubt. Funny isn't it? We go online to meet people and find ourselves getting cold feet when the time actually comes.
This hesitation can stem from worrying that the other person won't match your expectations when you meet them. Then there's the worry that you won't match up to the other person's expectations of you. Even when you've been honest in your profile and have made every effort to let the "real you" shine through in messages and chats, it's only natural to worry that you'll seem different in person.
Such fear can limit a relationship to an "online-only" status longer than is ideal. It's important to fight the temptation to stay in this comfort zone if you are truly interested in starting a relationship with someone you've met online.
When we get to know someone online, we put together the different bits of information we receive and combine them to form an idea of what that person is really like. Profiles, photos and messages give us a good glimpse of who we're getting to know, but it's never 100% complete. We tend to fill the gaps with slightly idealised information which can create unrealistic expectations.
To minimise potential disappointment, get offline and meet face to face sooner rather then later. You'll get to know each other on a deeper level while seeing if the chemistry you felt online is as strong in person. While it may take several meetings with different people before you make the connection you're looking for, the effort will seem worthwhile when you do meet that special someone.
And if things don't work out as expected, try not to feel too bad. The person who made your heart pound with excitement online may not have the same effect on you in person, but they might end up becoming a good friend.
Good luck!
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