Magazine > How to respond
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 By Dorianne Sager Answering a personal ad is like standing at a date's front door waiting to make that first impression. With the right greeting, the door will be held wide open. Screw up, and the door will be slammed in your face. So if you don't want your nose working overtime as a doorknocker, follow these tips when responding to a person's profile.  When you respond to specific details in a potential date's profile it shows that you are paying attention and that person has piqued your interest. For example, if a person describes him or herself as, "A yoga instructor looking for a flexible mate" you could respond with, "My downward dog could use a little work, but I'll bend over backwards for the right person."  Mass emails are rude and people know the difference between a response written for you and one written for you and everyone else. Never reply all in capital letters, it's like shouting in someone's face - would you do that in person on the first date? And unless your first name is Fonzi, don't expect much response if you send out a one liner like, "Nice pic, call me."  Good grammar and proper spelling are just as important in your response as they are in your profile. Typos make as good an impression as bad breath on the first date.  If you respond to a profile with a picture, follow up by sending a recent picture of yourself, it shows you're not afraid to reveal who you are. For tips on what make a flattering photo. See Picture Perfect  Humour is important when writing and responding to profiles. Unfortunately, sometimes wit and sarcasm can fall flat if people can't see the smile behind your words. Use emoticons so people know when you're joking and when you're flirting ;-) If you're nervous about contacting someone for the first time, send a free smile from the site. You might get lucky, they could respond with some questions for you, making it easier to reply.  Well it shouldn't be. Just because you are communicating by email, it doesn't mean you abandon all your social skills. Talking incessantly about yourself won't get you very far in a date in the real world, and it won't do much for you in the virtual world either. Engage the other person in a conversation. Ask about their interests, their likes and dislikes, the point of this first response is to find out a little more about this person and encourage them to do the same with you.  Would you whip out your rubber outfit the first time you met someone in the real world? Unless a person mentions their sexual preferences and fetishes in their profile, keep yours to yourself until you get to know the person better. |
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